Over a year has passed since the tragic Covenant School shooting in Nashville, which claimed the lives of three young students and three staff members.
The incident, which occurred on March 27, 2023, ended with the shooter, Audrey Hale, being fatally shot by the police. Recently, a 90-page journal penned by Hale in the months leading up to the shooting was unveiled by the Tennessee Star and its Editor-in-Chief, Michael Patrick Leahy.
According to The Post Millennial, the journal was legally procured from a source familiar with the investigation in June 2024. The Metro Nashville Police Department discovered the journal in Hale's vehicle, along with a spiral-bound notebook, following the shooting. The red, lined-page journal bore the name "Aiden" on the cover, the name adopted by Hale, who identified as transgender. The journal's opening pages are filled with despairing phrases such as "Darkness," "Everything hurts," and "Why does my brain not work right?? Cause I was born wrong." Further entries reveal Hale's deep-seated pain and desire for death, with statements like "Nothing on Earth can save me," and "Never-ending pain. Religion won't save me."
The journal also contains drawings of broken hearts, writings about love, and the repeated use of the abbreviation P.A.P. within a heart. One page features the phrases, "No brown girls, no love," and "brown love is the most beautiful kind." On the following page, Hale writes, "Audrey is not my name but when you say it I am just as the little 1 I was back then. I can be a kid again with you alongside you even if I cant really be w/ you."
The journal entries also reveal Hale's struggle with autism and the belief that love and autism cannot coexist. One entry reads, "Love cannot be real if my Autism is. Love cannot exist or fails to be in this real. Too bad I was loved by your heart too short in time. It felt like a dream. If there is no love, there is no life. And no life is feeling dead, it's only natural wanting to die." This sentiment is further emphasized by the statement, "Im OK with being gone forever."
Hale's journal also reveals a planned massacre on January 17, which was later postponed. One entry dated January 16, 2023, reads, "Im so sorry Nikki. I didnt mean to plan my massacre on the 17th. Im going to be a terrible sh*t for leaving you. How bad my heart hurts. Tomorrow is my last day on Earth. I love you. I am so sorry, Audrey, with Aiden written in parenthesis." A note added the following day reads, "PS - Not leaving yet. I couldnt do it. I dont want to ruin your day. Ill wait as planned."
Hale's journal entries also reveal a fixation on specific dates, with a preference for dates containing "27" or "17." One entry reads, "I want to do it in February," with the date 2/17/23 noted as a potential date for the attack, as there are "no birthdays on that day."
The journal also contains explicit content, including a drawing of two figures engaged in anal sex, and a wish for Hale's father's death. Hale's struggle with gender identity is also evident, with statements such as, "Its a terrible feeling to know I am nothing of the gender I was born of."
The journal entries paint a picture of a deeply troubled individual grappling with issues of identity, love, and societal acceptance. Phrases like "white nothingness," and "society + politics are scum in this world that nature should wipe clean," reveal Hale's disdain for society. One entry reads, "w/o my creativity, I am useless + meaningless to society. I am of no society. And I have society b/c society ignores to see me. Im a queer; I am meant to die." This story is still developing, and updates will be provided as more information becomes available.
Login